Raising My Teen & A Conversation Including One Of My Favorite Childhood Actresses
This post is made possible with support from the Center for Parent and Teen Communication, part of Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. All opinions are my own.
I have a vivid memory of some childhood things. For instance, getting home from school, grabbing a snack, & finding something to watch on television. I can still feel the anticipation of those moments. HBO was the gold mine of movies for me back then. I couldn't wait to get home from school!
I came from the era of Coming To America, Weird Science, Mannequin, Indiana Jones, & 16 Candles. Molly Ringwald was one of my favorite actresses at the time. She made me want to be a teen & express my individuality. Fast forward to present-day & we're both now parents of teens.
I recently attended a virtual conversation with Molly, Dr. Ken Ginsburg, & Dr. Christine Koh about raising teenagers. This event was through the Center for Parent and Teen Communication. I've shared a lot about their organization & resources in previous posts.
Many informative (and relatable!) gems were shared during the discussion. Hearing one of the most iconic actresses of my youth talk about similar motherhood wins & struggles was refreshing. It was also a full circle experience.
No parent in any capacity is immune to the challenges of parenthood. We're all going through in one way or another. Remember that the next time you're thinking, "I'm the only one."
Two statements that really stood out to me during the event are:
"Teen voices matter. If you listen, you'll hear what you need to hear…. Look for signs." ~Molly Ringwald
"By getting out of their way, seeing them as experts in their own lives, and giving them opportunities to fail, grow, and recover — every human being can learn their own excellence." ~Dr. Ken Ginsburg
15 years of parenting has taught me the need to intentionally listen to what my children are saying. And the messages aren't always verbal. Paying attention to their mannerisms, gestures, & moods is also key. When all else fails, I just ask my daughters to tell me how I can support them.
The reality is that even as a parent, I don't know everything or have all of the answers. Nor do I pretend to. Instead, I've learned to advise when necessary but more importantly, to listen & offer support in finding solutions. This approach works wonders in my home-especially when it comes to preventing and/or dissolving teen meltdowns.
This is also how I get out of the way of both daughters' growth & development. As I type this, so much comes to mind about wins & fails I've had with my teen specifically. My goodness… looking back reveals just how much we deserve to celebrate.
The road was not always easy.
It's beautiful to now watch her navigate her life & be the expert as I've learned to step away. Dr. Ginsburg's statement hit the nail on the head! I'm here as the safe space, the place she KNOWS she can turn to for unconditional love.
Succeed or fail, I'm here without judgement. Only support, love, & sometimes too many questions. Yet, a position I've earned that solidifies me as someone she can always trust & who only wants the best for her.
I'll take that win with my daughters any day.
For anyone parenting, mentoring, working with or simply loving teens in your life, search the #MollyRingwaldTeenYears hashtag on social (especially Twitter). Other attendees have shared their takeaways & meaningful quotes from the event, too.
And last but not least…. a reminder to visit the Center for Parent and Teen Communication website for an unbelievable amount of resources. Our teens (and all children) deserve our best parenting & mentoring efforts. This organization is a great place to start.
*Did you see this video from a former project with CPTC?