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A Teen Milestone: Setting Boundaries In Relationships

This post is made possible with support from the Center for Parent and Teen Communication, part of Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. All opinions are my own.


Although there’ve been crushes, my daughter hasn’t crossed the boyfriend line just yet. Her 14th birthday is around the corner, so I know it’ll happen sooner than later. Middle school has ensured relationships be a topic of discussion in our home-especially as they relate to self-respect, clear communication, & setting boundaries.

While she hasn’t had a boyfriend to establish boundaries with, she does have friends. My daughter once vented to me about being the friend everyone goes to for advice. She appreciates having this level of trust with them but became frustrated when the same sentiments weren’t reciprocated. Conversations seemed to only be about their needs.

As usual, I leaned on speaking up. I reminded her that mind-reading isn’t reality. If friends are crossing a boundary they aren’t even aware of, that falls on her. They won’t know unless she tells them & then stands firm on those boundaries.

I was impressed when she confronted her friends. They were receptive but surprised she hadn’t already mentioned her concerns to them. To this day, she sets boundaries & speaks up if they aren’t respected. Setting boundaries in relationships & friendships is a milestone she’ll use for life.

Do you already know about teen milestones? If not, The Center for Parent and Teen Communication has great information. They use science-based strategies to support healthy family relationships. At this link, you can read about additional milestones your teen will face.

I suggest signing up for their 100-word, daily parenting tip newsletter. I don’t know about you, but I welcome information that helps me as a parent. What milestones have your teen(s) reached? Let’s chat about it.